How to Build a Life You Don't Need to Escape From

how to create self care and balance in your life

I often mention there are three things I focus on in my business: empowerment, community, and balance. And I want to be clear: While self care plays into balance, that isn’t the entire story. When I talk about balance, I mean building a life that you enjoy, that you don’t need to escape from. Where your day-to-day is aligned with who you are more than who you aren’t. Where enjoying a stiff drink after work or winding down with a hot bath aren’t the way you hide from the rest of your day.

“But what does this actually mean?”

“It sounds nice for me to say, but how do I actually implement this?”

“What does a life like this look like?”

“Right now I’m starting a business/just had a baby/am in the middle of a move/etc. and I can’t take my busy out of the equation. How do I build a life of balance when there is no balance?”

I get questions like this all the time. So let’s break it down and answer them!

There are two ways to truly build a life you don’t need to escape from: 1) Make sure what you fill your days with is aligned with your true values and personality, 2) Give yourself grace in how you fill your days. Let’s break them down.

1) Align your life with your authentic self

I do an exercise with each of my clients to see what their values are and how much they’re being implemented in their day-to-day lives. Does your work involve them? Your extracurricular activities? The way you prepare for bed? The way you wake up in the morning?

If you’re an introvert and you really value serenity and calm, and you’re spending your days selling cars to people, you’re not going to be in balance. You’re going to be constantly stressed out, burned out, and feel like you need to crawl into a hole the second you get off work.

If you’re an extrovert who values people and variety, and spend every single day doing the same data entry job in a cubicle by yourself, you’re going to feel out of balance. You’re going to count the seconds until you get off work and feel the Sunday scaries every weekend.

2) Giving yourself grace

The beauty of this approach to balance is twofold. It allows you to truly enjoy the majority of your days, even when you’re at work or running errands because you know how to do them in a way that doesn’t stress you out. It also provides the ability to be balanced even when busy, as long as you’re busy doing the things authentic to you.

If one of your values is family, then the stress, lack of sleep, and busyness of having a baby is still balance for you. If you value living in the same state as your dream job, a move is a part of balance for you. If your values mean owning your own business, then working late to launch a new product is balance for you.

Balance doesn’t mean never having responsibilities, or stress, or working hard. It doesn’t mean that you leave work at the exact same time every single day, or wake up at the same time every day. It means living a life that is designed for who you are — your personality, passions, values, and dreams — first and foremost.

How do you bring balance to your life? Share in the comments below, or join the party on my Instagram and share there: https://www.instagram.com/katrina.widener/


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